Looking back

I can't wait to say goodbye to 2009 and say hello to the possibilities of 2010. We are hoping to start of right with our first DSIUI. The OPK was - today which is very good in. I thought for sure I was a goner this morning with all the CM but we are good to go for the New Year! Thank goodness for small favors!

I wish you all a healthy and safe New Year! Don't do anything stupid!!!

Much better today....

The crankiness has faded which I am very happy about. Today was a good day (at least after lunch.) Cindy came into work to do timecards and then took me to my favorite mongolian bbq place. Very tasty but couldn't get much down. Guess that means that the band is still working. No + on the OPK which I am very grateful for. I just know it's going to come earlier based on the headaches I have been having. I just need the + to stay away for two more days and then it can come on Friday.

Off to start laundry and sew the binding on my quilt!

XOXOXOXO

Cranky....

Can we say cranky today? Like raging biatch, cranky and I am not even PMSing. WTF? I couldn't even stand myself. Not sure if is the looming "1st" insemination and the whole timing, or if it is the whole mother thing or if it is the whole money thing? Or how about a combination of all the above? How about the fact that I didn't make it through new mo.on and dreamt about it all night long? How about the fact that I want to get my Christmas quilt finished before we put the Christmas stuff away this weekend? Ugh.... Or how about the fact that I have to work four days this week? Ok enough ranting, as one of my friends told me, at least I have a job!

On DSIUI note.... I am starting to do the OPK test this week. Today was negative.... Thank goodness. As long as they stay negative through Friday, we will be just fine. I am really holding out for a + on Saturday so SA can go with me at least for the first time.

Psstttt.... It's a secret....

This blog is meant for anonymity to protect SA's wish about azoospermia and DS to ourselves. If you happen to know us in real life, please don't mention the aforementioned items to anyone or to him. If you wish to know more details or discuss, please feel free to email me!!!

Woot Woot...

All I want for New Years is a DS IUI! Yahoo! AF showed her ugly head last night and we are right on track to have our first IUI after the beginning of the New Year. Just have to share was someone posted on FF!



That doctor's office has a sense of humor. So we are down to about 14 days which hopefully will put us right on target for the Monday after New Year's that both Scott and I have taken off. Keep you fingers crossed!

Weekend Time....

Yeah! I am so glad it's Friday! We are going to Duluth this weekend with SA's parents. We are going to see the lights at Bentleyville. http://www.bentleyvilleusa.org/ It is really cool with an awesome light display that we have gone to a couple of times. And then off to a small family Christmas get together with some of his relatives. I am really looking forward to this weekend as this is one of the reasons why we got married six years ago.

We went to the family get together and we were staying at the hotel. We were getting romantic and the birth control failed. At that point we were already engaged but decided we would run off and elope and not tell anyone. Little did we know that birth control wasn't necessary....

Two years ago tomorrow.....

I took a step that changed my life forever. 130-165 lbs later, life is sooooo much better and a lot more fun. Thank you to all the friends and family that have been along for the ride. This was not an easy decision that I made lightly. For goodness sake, I weighed 465 lbs at the start of this journey and if I had not made this change, I would probably be on my death bed. My focus for the next year, is to do what I have to do to have a healthy pregnancy. Drink my water, take my vitamins, not gain a ton of weight.

Can I Just Say......

That I really miss caffeine! More so this morning than in the last two
weeks!

Sent from my iPhone

19 Days and Counting....

Until we have our first and hopefully only DIUI. For those who don't know what DIUI, it is artificial insemination that is placed in my uterus for conception. SA was diagnosed with azoospermia this fall, which means he produces zero, nada, zilch sperm. It was quite devastating for us to get the news but SA being the wonderful man that his, picked us both of the floor and said lets go for donor sperm. Not a cheap route ($1000 per cycle for the doctor plus $300-$600 for the sperm) but worth every penny. We have the complete support of our parents who can't wait to be grandparents next year. We started this count down in October and thought that getting to the tweens would never get here. Yet here we are just a mere 19 days (give a day or two) away from doing the insemination.

We met with an RE (well his nurse anyways) and determined through blood work and a HSG that there isn't anything wrong with me at this time. We will do three unmedicated cycles as if you aren't pregnant by your fourth cycle without any help, chances are you won't be. There is a 25% per cycle that we can get pregnant and no one cycle is better than the other. I will chart my temperatures and use OPK to determine when I am going to ovulate. Once we get an OPK+ then I will call and make an appointment for the next day for insemination.

Our DS (donor sperm) is already waiting at the clinic for us. I am excited and very scared at the same time. We will tell our children some day about how they came to be but will they understand, will they want to meet the man who donated (who is unknown to all of us), will they ever look at Scott and say that he isn't their father, will I be haunted by the procedure, will Scott change his mind somewhere down the road?

One day at a time? 19 more days and counting!

Productive Day

I had a very productive day today. I have been baking Great Grandma's Sugar Cookies all day along with doing laundry, making dinner, giving bandit a bath and enjoying the Vi.kings Game.

When I say baking cookies, I mean about 32 dozen (8 batches with 4 dozen a piece) to give out to the family for Christmas. I am even using the same glass that she used to press the cookies into shape.

It is a little bitter sweet however, because up until last year, my mom and I made these cookies together. Last year and this year, she hasn't wanted to much to do with it. This was one of those things that I was hoping to pass on to my kids. Make Sugar Cookies together as a family.

Oh well, just another one of those things that my mom will lose out on because of her choices.

And we return to our regularily scheduled drama....

First of all SA has a hemorroid that is bleeding and it is freaking him out. So much that he thinks he has cancer. Whatever dude! I had to schedule a doctor's appointment right away. My little revenge (not that I had much choice) is that he has to see a female nurse practitioner. I know not very nice but give me a break.

Second drama for the day, my mom is in the process of getting a divorce and her husband moved out of their house three days ago. Guess what, the new boyfriend is all set to move in. I watched the men come and go growing up and had really hoped that she had moved beyond that as she got older. Guess not! I feel really bad for BB becuase he has to watch and deal with the same things I did. The ignoring because the boyfriend is so much more important than the rest of us.

8-10 weeks ago, I couldn't get a weekend away from my mom. Now I can't even get an evening dinner with her.

BB had his winter concert tonight and guess who was there. "The Boyfriend" and she had no plans to tell me. Really? You think just springing this on me is going to make me accept this person into my life any sooner. Don't think so, I will on my own time and desire. Until then, don't push him on me.

Ugghhh! It really stinks when your 53 year old mother is acting like a teenager again. What is really sad is that I am really going to need her in the next few months as we start our DIUI and she won't be there.

Good thing I have other people that surround me with love and care!

Meme (I wasn't tagged but thought this was a cool idea!)

The Rules:

1. Copy and paste the meme from the person that tagged you.

2. Run a Google image search on your answer to the question.

3. Choose a relevant image that suits your taste and needs.

4. Add a description.

5. Tag four innocent bystanders to pass the damn thing on, and leave a comment on their blog so they know what's up.

6. Have fun!

And we're off!!

Place I was Born:

Walter Reed Hospital - Washington D.C.








Place I Grew Up:

All Over the Place









Place I live Now:

New Brighton MN



High School Mascot:

Roseville Raider



University I Attended:

Didn't go to a University but instead to a community college



Favorite Wild Animal:

Tasmanian Devil of Course



Favorite Vacation Spot:

Vegas Baby Vegas



Favorite Sports Team:

Skol Vikings!!!



Favorite Movie:

Chick Flicks!!!!!



My Age Right Now:

32



My Hobby:

Quilting, duh!!!!



My Favorite Color:

Blue



My Favorite Song:

It happens to be whatever shows up on my i.pod



My Favorite Book:

Wish I could say whatever is on my k.indle but that isn't going to happen anytime soon! So I will say, The Sha.ck



My Favorite Clothing Brand:

Whatever fits!



My Job or Career:

Approving Condominiums for conventional loans.



My Favorite Television Show!

Reality TV Junkie!!!



My Addiction:

HoHo Mint Mocha



My Weakness:

See above? How about Shopping!!



My Favorite Food:

Chocolate!!!

Quiet night at home while the snow blows.....

The Twin Cities is suppose to get 6-8" of snow in this snow storm. Oh what joy! We got 2" today and it took me about an hour and half to get home tonight. Oh well got some good chatting time in with my step mom and talked about the drama in our life. I don't mind being nicknamed "princess" but I would sure like to shed the drama queen label. I feel for those people that are always sick, always have bad things happen to them, never have anything good happen for them. I don't want to be that person but somehow to find myself in that spot. Oh well, I just raise my hands up and say whatever. All I can do is perservere and do it with my head held high!

So I shoveled the few inches of snow when I got home, started my Christmas cookie baking with chocolate covered pretzels and now I am watching the series finale of Big.gest Loser and can't wait to see Shay!

Stomach Flu Hits....

and hit my husband hard today. He has been sick and even went to bed at 7:30p. Hopefully this crud leaves our house very soon! Yuck. An interesting question was posed at dinner on Saturday. How would I handle a sick child throwing up on me? I would like to think I would be ok. Not that it wouldn't be gross but really, I mean come on. I am practically BB's second mom (who by the way turns 15 tomorrow) and he peed on me and I am sure there was vomit involved at some point or another.

On a side note, I got my first smiley face on the OPK. I have never gotten a smiley face before because I was using FMU and then switched to cheapies right before we learned about SA's MFI. We are down to less than 30 days before our first DIUI. Here's to our New Year's Baby.

Another Quilt Finish

This is a pattern by one of my favorite quilt designers. I machined quilted it myself on my Ber.nina and finished the binding today during the football game. This is for my MIL's good friend and I hope she likes it. She is reimbursing me for the material costs (or at least I hope) because we could sure use the extra money.

Gotta love the flu (or so I think...)

Woke up yesterday with 101.5 fever. Great! At least it broke overnight and other than the fever and aches I fell pretty good. So good that we are going out for a couple's date tonight. Don't worry, we have forwarned the other couple so they could decide if they wanted to risk being around me. And they are ok with it.

We are going to try this new restaurant in Eden Prairie. It is a Hawaiian/Asian place that we have never been to before.

Going to new places make me nervous with the lap band. Food choices don't always work but if I go slow and chew well, it should be fine!

Does anyone else every wonder....

If the timing is just not right to try to get pregnant? SA was diagnosed this fall with azoospermia. The nearest we can tell his body does not produce sperm. We could do a testicular biopsy but would be taking out tissue that produces testosterone (which he doesn't produce enough already) for nothing. IVF isn't an option for us just because of shear cost. We are suppose to start artificial insemination in January and the swimmers are waiting for us at the RE's office. However, with everything we have had going on, I am really scared to try to get pregnant right now. It will cost us $1000 a cycle and that doesn't include the sperm. We have that covered with the Flex Spending Account but after three cycles, the RE kicks in with medication which could cost us more and we don't have that. I would hate to get this far only to be disappointed that we couldn't get pregnant and not afford to go further. Does the unknown cost keep us from moving foward? Only time will tell I guess.

And Karma is at it again today....

The car went in for new tie rods and the computer we just fixed is not booting again.... Oh well whatcha gonna do. Anybody else have any good news for me?

Animals....

Bandit and Frankie are sitting on Scott's lap and cuddling. They are his pets, they go to him and love him. Sebastian is my baby and is sitting on the couch besides me and if I weren't playing on the computer, he would be sitting on my chest. Bella is on the other couch by her self but I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't move over and sit behind my head. She will actually groom my head and bite it. She is too funny as so are the rest of the animals. But they are our babies, you better not mess with them!!!!