Sunday, November 21, 2010


I already feel like I am failing and I have only been back to work for two days. I feel like I am failing Teddy, SA, the house, me and work. Not working is not an option, I am the bread winner and I carry the insurance. SA takes Teddy to daycare in the morning and I do everything I can to make it as easy as possible for him the night before. I am trying to get as much done the night before so that I can get myself out the door on time without having to get up at 4:00 in the morning. I am trying to break the house up into "quadrants" so that we focus on one are of the house a week. This way we don't spend hours on the weekend cleaning the whole house. Where our house might not be clean all the time, an area of the house will have at least been cleaned in the last four weeks. (Wish I could hire a cleaner but I don't have the money!) All of this so I can spend quality time with Teddy but at the same time, I don't feel like I have any quality time with him. Then I realized today, that I am not asking for help. I told SA my frustration and he really picked up the ball tonight to help. I just need to ask for help and I am not so good at that....

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